Well, I got poked, prodded, and peed yesterday.  All in the name of pre-employment screening.  I know that I am a relatively healthy person and I have no doubt that my drug screen will be perfectly clean.  Yet why am I still paranoid that something won't pass muster? 

In part, of course, I worry that my weight will play a factor.  Because according to my BMI, I am The Big O.  Obese, you perves!  And also because in the past I have had high-ish blood pressure readings.  And yesterday I was stuck behind a big rig on a 2-lane highway, rushing to make it to my appointment on time.  So yeah, my blood pressure woulda been a little elevated.

And the hearing test.  Who gives a hearing test in a pre-employment screening?!  The headphones were SO TIGHT that all I could hear was my GD'd elevated heart rate.  And myself breathing.  So I tried to do as little of it as possible.  And still probably did poorly on it.

And where there's a hearing test, there's bound to be a vision test as well.  And as many of you know, I do wear glasses.  Just not all of the time.  So we put my astigmatism to the test and I have to say, I think I did OK considering.  I did have my glasses with me, but I didn't offer to bust them out, nor did the nurse request that I utilize them during the test.

They also tested my flexibility and strength.  Which is strange because being a desk jockey doesn't always require strength and agility.  But nevertheless.  They tested my leg flexibility by laying on my back on a table and then lifting each leg.  I wanted to tell the guy "They'll go back farther than that!" but thought better of it.  In retrospect, I glad I kept quiet on that point because now that I say it out loud, it sounds a little naughty.  Like why don't I say "I can put my legs behind my head" while I'm at it.  (Which, for the record, is something I cannot accomplish.)

And finally, there was the urine sample.  Last, but not least!  I commented to the nurse, "I've been waiting the whole time for this part!"  Read: I have GOT to PEE!!!  Nurse's response?  "You should have said something sooner."  Right.  Like I'm gonna tell the people testing me for drugs that I have to give them a sample ASAP.  Right.  Well, I guess I would have spoken up had my need been greater, but it was tolerable.

I made it through all of the tests, so why is it that I'm still so paranoid?  Is it residual paranoia from my high school days?  Like a flashback?  Who knows.

Yet there's still the matter of the background check, as well.  But I figure that if I can pass the (cough) rigorous Determination of Moral Character for the California Bar Examiners, I have nothing to worry about. 

Right?

All I know for sure is that I will be glad when all of the results come back and I can start my new job.

Life has new meaning
To me
There's beauty up above
And this you never take notice of
Wake up and suddenly
You're employed!!!

This morning I got a job offer from the beverage (wine, actually) company with whom I interviewed on Friday.  So needless to say, the interview went very well. 

I was super duper nervous all weekend long, which made me realize that my head is all kinds of messed up from my bar exam experiences.  I was convinced that I wasn't going to be offered the job becuase...because I just wasn't going to be.  Because I was a failure at the other important pursuits in my life (namely the bar exam) so I was going to be a failure at this, too.  Mostly a result of wanting it so very badly.

So add that on the list of business to take care of before I attempt to take that bar exam again!

But at least I have one item checked off that To Do List: Find a job...CHECK!!!

*****EDIT*****
Just got a copy of the official offer letter in an e-mail.  It's really real!!!

Longtime readers may recall that back in late '05/early '06, I had a long-term assignment with an international beverage company.  And that the assignment ended rather abruptly (which left a little bit of a bad taste in my mouth). 

Well, the very position I held as a contractor is open again.  And for the long term.

A temp that came in for the day yesterday let it slip that she had an interview for the job today.  Not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, I got on the horn to my former contacts at the company and have an interview tomorrow morning!

I really enjoyed that job...and soooo trying not to let my hopes get up too high for my chances on getting hired. 

But it would be soooo fabulous if I did!

My "boss" just left for lunch with all of the other associates.  The legal assistant is also OTL (that is, out to lunch, not to be confused with over the line--you know who you are).  So I am left to my own devices here in this little office.

It's a bummer that after all this time, I'm back to work now.  My mom is home full time right now, so we would watch Rachael and Martha and Ina and a couple of soaps together.  Not only do I miss my TV gal pals, I miss hanging with Da Mom.  But she and I have had a significant amount of time to spend together since late March, so that was nice.  Afterall, we knew it couldn't last forever.

I was talking to one of the associates this morning about shopping.  She said she felt an urge to have shopping spree was on the horizon.  I agreed, but only because I know that I have a paycheck on the horizon.  Which brings me to my point: getting my life in order.

By life I mean finances, possessions, weight and health.  You know, life things.  Maybe this is a result of turning 30.  Maybe it's a result of living essentially paycheck-to-paycheck (in some cases windfall-to-windfall) since January, and at times having to seek aid from my parents.  Maybe it's a result of having a quasi-neatnik Fella. 

I know it's a lot because soone enough I'll be combining my life with Fella's and I want to be wel prepared and well organized when that time comes.  It's very slow going so far, but I decided that it must get done.  I'm going to try and schedule a day or even an entire weekend to get it done.  Preferrably before the end of summer.

Got any good resources or pointers?

I've been resistant to contacting my temp agency since my last assignment with them.  Basically because they really weren't working too well for me.  In a nutshell, I felt like they were only sending me out for their commission, and not for my benefit.  But alas, I don't appear to be having any luck of my own in my full-time pursuit of a job.

Luckily, I didn't exactly have to concede defeat to Temp Agency by calling them (although it was on my To Do List for the day).  They called me and I answered.  This account exec called to discuss a possible assignment, working for the Trademark & Patent Counsel of a tech company.  I told her that I'm game.  So I'm waiting to hear if the attorney finds my credentials appropriate for the position.  Unfortunately, it looks to be only temporary, even though they company is looking for a permanent candidate for the position.  Maybe, just maybe, they'll think about considering me.

******EDIT******
The IP counsel felt I was "over qualified" for the position.  Say what?!  I don't get it, I just don't get it.  I mean, eff yeah I'm OQ, but when did that become such a bad quality in an employee?  Whatever.  But I did take another assignment...one that I've actually had before back in April.  What can I say, I'm desperate for the money.

---

In other news, I got a new bathing costume this weekend.  Fella decided that my current bathing suit has "been done."  Afterall, it's pretty much the only suit I've had in rotation for the last four years or so.  So we hopped over to the ArkyMart to have a look-see for another fab find (similar to the current suit which I also found at the Mart).  Lo and behold, there was a shimmery brown number that works for this bathing beauty.

But I gotta say: when in the hell did bathing suits get SO expensive?  (Even at the DubMart!)

---

I went to the driving range for the first time ever on Saturday.  For my first time, apparently I didn't do too terribly.  Although I did develop a nasty blister on one of my thumbs.  Next time I've got to remember to bring an old batting glove for that hand.  I think that golf may be a sport that I can get behind.

---

We also went up to Lake Berryessa on Saturday for our dear friend's birthday.  We got up there more than an hour later than I had been hoping.  And Fella and I got a little cranky on the hour and a half drive, partly because of traffic, partly because we weren't in agreement about which route to take, and because we only had a general idea of where we were meeting the party and didn't know specifically where the site was that they had set up shop.  Thankfully the birthday girl had come up to the car for something right after we had parked so we hurriedly followed her trail down to the picnic area.

After a bite to eat and quick beer, Fella and I were set to float around in the lake for a few hours and have a relaxing afternoon with friends.  It was a lot of fun!

All in all, I had a very pleasant weekend.

Two of my favorite people in the universe have gotten promotions lately.  Fella being one and the other is one of my BFFs.  Undoubtedly, the simply RAWK!

Now if only seasons would change to HIRING season...it would all be gravy.

In other news, I continue to enjoy my new dance class at the local JuCo.  Although last night, my feet were burning from the film of resin left behind by the ballet classes held in the same studio.  Said resin is apparently is a turpentine based product.  Anyhow, on of my classmates, a woman appearing to be in her late-30s/early 40s and taking the class to improve her mental function, stopped me after class.

"How long have you been dancing?" she asked.

"Well, I had a break for about 12 years--"

"Oh, well that's why, you danced for 12 years!"

"No, no," I corrected. "I've been back dancing after a 12 year break.  And before that, I danced a few years in high school and a few years as a child.  But I couldn't say how many years exactly that was."

"Well, you are very good," she said.  "I mean, really, really good."

"Well, gee...thank you!"  I was truly surprised by her compliment.

On top of her effusive flattery, I continue to notice a change in my body composition as a result of this class.  It's way better for me to be doing this twice a week, rather than just once.  And our instructor implements a lot more isolation exercises, which I'm sure is the maing contributing factor to some of the imnprovement.  Fella has noticed that my collarbone is beginning to emerge from under the layers and a friend commented on the Fourth that my girls look smaller (I prefer to say they're hanging higher).

But I can't help but feel a little guilty for abandoning my other class.  I had intended to return to the class in the fall, but now I'm not so sure.  It's cheaper to take classes at the JuCo, and the classes are more frequent, varied, and technical.  So I'll have to decide in a few weeks what to do.

And in yet other decision-making news, as I mentioned in a recent post I am considering pursuing a certificate program in accounting.  But I can't decide where to take the courses.  The JuCo has a program, as does the UC Berkeley Extension.  The cost difference is...significant.  The difference in reputation in the field may also be significant.  So I can only decide to remain indecisive at this point.  Sigh.

Because it looks as though I'll be stuck rooming with my parents for at least another year, I've waged a crusade to organize and redeco my childhood bedroom. 

1. I no longer sleep in my bedroom.  My 30 y/o body does not take kindly to the 20+ y/o extra-long twin bed in residence there.  So I sleep in the queen bed in guest room.

2. I don't use the behemoth oak desk residing in my bedroom either.  Namely because I've never really been a desk person.  I always did homework on my bed or the floor or anywhere but at a desk.  Secondarily, because the bed is arranged in a way that accommodates a bookcase in my room while blocking the middle section of the desk where one is supposed to sit.

So I don't sleep in my room, nor do I work (conventionally speaking) in my room.  So why bother going to the trouble of renovating it at all?  Because I still dress in there.  And watch the tele.  And plain old hangout in there.

My vision: convert childhood bedroom into a recreational den of sorts.  But first I need to sell or otherwise dispose of the desk.  Which requires me to empty the contents of the desk.  There's not a whole lot in the drawers, so it shouldn't be such a terrible feat. 

The trouble is that my bedroom has had a bit of bad juju lately.

Last week, I attempted to tape a 1am broadcast of The Dead Zone.  My TV-VCR combo circa my Poly Days wasn't having it.  It ate the tape.  And got TV-VCR indigestion (TV turns itself off after 30 seconds of giving off a gurgling sound from the VCR portion of the combo).  So sadly, the tele watching in my bedroom-cum-someday-den has been canceled indefinitely.  Or until Fella brings his spare TV to my rescue. 

Today marks day 8 of the bedroom-TV-blackout.

In addition, last week I witnessed a giant, enormous, gi-normous spider frequenting the walls of my b-c-s-d.  I mean it is the BIGGEST spider I have ever seen within the walls of this house (and there have been some doozies).  Not to mention, said arachnid was seen taking out a smaller member of his/her species.  My question to you is: Generally speaking, do spiders eat other spiders?  Or do spiders only eat other spiders after mating?  If the general rule leans toward the latter being the case, then I'm totally going to freak.

And I'm already freaking out.  Every little sensation I feel on my feet, legs, arms--whether or not I'm actually in my bedroom, I think could be a spider crawling on me.  Blechblechblech.

Bottom line: I've got to get crap out of my room and get the spider situation under control.  It's gnarly as all get out.  Moreso, actually.

Blechblechblech.

Ugh.  I am not in the mood to go to Pilates this evening.  Partly because I haven't gone back to officially register for the class after they straightened out a clerical glitch last week.  And I guess I'm paranoid that I'll go down to the office and be unable to register again because the open spots were filled by other people already.  Excuses, excuses. 

I've seriously got a case of the lazies.

Perhaps it's the rubberbad effect.  I had two job interviews this week, so now after expending all of the energy to leave the house and go through the interview rigamarole, I'm over it.  Leaving the house, that is.

As for the interviews, the county job went fine.  Structured, very short & sweet.  But I have no idea how I fared.  I'll have the results in a week and a half, or so they tell me.  The second interview was more of a fishing expedition.  The position I applied for was filled the morning on the interview by an internal candidate.  But the firm didn't bother to let me know this before I drove the 50 miles to their location to be interviewed for consideration for other open positions.  While I appreciate their considering me for other vacancies, I am in no way interested in the primary practice area of the firm (Personal Injury).  So it was esentially a waste of  my time and precious, pricey petrol.  I've been putting off calling them back to say how it went, but it's another symptom of my affliction (the aforementioned Lazies).  I feel like blowing them off, in the manner that they blew off my interview yesterday.  Except for that it costs them much less than it did me.

I guess I'm going to see about officially registering for Pilates.  Afterall, I do also have to pick up a bottle of direly needed Advil for the household.

This morning has gotten off to a busy start--I'm baking! 

My dad likes to bring "something to go with coffee" to work every morning.  So my mom always tries to have something on hand, whether it be storebought or homemade.  Last week, I made blueberry bran muffins for him.  Our family bran muffin recipe as originally written makes enough batter for four dozen muffins.  The good thing about it is that the batter also keeps well in the fridge.  So even though my version is cut in half, 24 muffins are overkill for one week's worth of coffee breaks. Thus, I took half the batter and mixed in blueberries, reserving half of the batter for muffins this week. 

This week's muffins have Trader Joe's Golden Berry Blend (golden raisins, dried cranberries, cherries & blueberries).

Next on my list: BROWNIES!

And on my ToDo List later today is prepare for my two (count 'em: two!) interviews this week.

I've made some decisions this week.

1. I decided to take a different dance class for the summer.  The new class is at my friendly neighborhood junior college.  And it is kicking my ass.  Actually, it is a pain in my groin--literally.  I strained it a little in class on Wednesday, so I'm taking care to rest and not exacerbate it.  At least before class meets again on Monday.  'Cause I full-on pulled my groin when I was playing soccer back in high school and it ain't a walk in the park.  In fact at times, walking is the last thing you want to do.  I digress...

2. I decided that right now I have got to get any job humanly possible.  I'm talking totally unrelated to my field.  I already have to borrow money from my parents to make my next student loan payment, so it's time to concede defeat.  At least a little bit. 

3. And in the meantime, I can also afford to take some accounting classes.  I'm just thinking about my overall marketability.  And somehow, someday I'll get to do some sort of tax-related work.  ***This just in: I received a VM from a firm (that I had preliminarily heard from last week) wanting to set up an interview next week.***  Is next week National Interview Week or something?  Not that I'm complaining.  In fact, keep 'em coming!!!

4. I also decided to rejoin my Pilates class.  For some reason (probably financial) I wasn't able to register for the last 8-week session of class, so I've been on a hiatus.  While I indeed missed class, I was a little hesitant to go back, just because I have gotten used to not going to class on Thursday evenings.  But last night I went and it was good.  I felt really good afterwards and am beginning to wonder if my recent (and rather frequent) bouts of depression aren't a bit magnified when I'm not Pilatecized.